Thursday, February 7, 2013

Day 28: Fake It Til You Make It


So my blogging capacity has been greatly reduced, and the responsible culprit is work. For two reasons – 1. I sit at a desk for 8 hours just about everyday and there’s not much I can write about that that even my mom and grandma would want to read, and 2. I completely crash when I get off work and cannot make myself do anything that involves thought or a computer. Typing a blog is too much like what I do at work so I just can’t do it when I get home. They work me hard, man. I am one hardworking little intern. This is not a complaint, just a statement of the facts. I would 100% rather have a job where I always have too much to do and stress out about than a job where I don’t have enough to do and am bored.

Anyway, so this week I’m at work and am feeling particularly stressed out about this “evaluation” report I’ve been given to assess for quality and usefulness. I am to do so using a very intense and detailed rating system in a long spreadsheet called the EQAT. I think that stands for evaluation quality assessment tool or something. The particular “evaluation” report I have been given is not really an evaluation of anything, unless you want to use the term evaluation very loosely. Its about 100 pages on how the labour market, in particular, wages and wage formation, is shaped by bargaining councils. It starts with a loooooooong history and description of labour laws and bargaining councils, followed by some descriptive statistical analysis on a somewhat unclear sample of historical data. I’m still hanging in there at this point. Then it goes into a section of multivariate analysis (shoot me) using dummy variables to represent different categories such as people who are members of bargaining councils versus those who are not. Then spits out all these horrific dummy variable coefficients that I cannot for the life of me interpret into tables that take up entire pages and mean nothing to your average non-connoisseur of econometrics. I just sit at my desk and want to cry. I feel a wave of dummy variable coefficients crashing over me and drowning me and I just want to cry.

So I go eat lunch. Oh and I’m really sorry if you stuck it out and read the entirety of that paragraph. But it was therapeutic to write it. Lunch was slightly therapeutic as well. When my supervisor came in the boardroom to eat too I asked her if she understood how to interpret dummy variable coefficients. Not because I thought she would be able to, but just to whine about how hard my work was in a covert manner. And to lower her expectations for the EQAT I was about to produce.

I go back after lunch and finish reading the report, in its entirety and feel like I have a decent enough handle on this thing to do an ok job (for a non-econometric Ph.D. holder) of rating it. Yea so I did, I think I did ok. I guess I’ll find out next week when my supervisor reads it. And the good news is, I didn’t die. But the bad news is, instead of celebrating this small victory, I have to dive into the huge stack of work that I was neglecting while drowning in dummy variable coefficients. Wahh. I finally leave work and just want to crawl into a cave and be left alone for awhile. Instead I make myself go for a run in the company gardens. Its beautiful there, until a big rat runs across the path in front of me with this giant chunk of bread in its mouth! Gross.

Work today, however, is something worth writing home about, so stick with me here. Yesterday, one of the consultants tells me about a workshop that the Department of Performance Monitoring and Evaluation (DPME, aka the people we been doing all those stinkin’ EQATs for) is having at the Mandela Rhodes Place, a super nice hotel on Wale Street. Yes, I would LOVE to go and get out of the office! She also tells me she’ll be a little late because she refuses to give up her personal training session for this workshop. I totally get that and tell her I’ll save her a seat. I didn’t know how late she would be exactly, so this morning I find myself chillin’ in this nice hotel conference room with a bunch of government officials, university professors, m&e consultants, and free coffee. Dena is nowhere to be found still as the workshop is underway and we have been broken into small groups to review the evaluation standards document the government wants to adopt.

Something weird happens to me in small groups - it happened all the time in college and especially grad school – my personality just wants to take charge and organize everybody. And I do it again, with this small group of super adult government officials. Its kind of like an out of body experience watching myself do it , but there I go, making sure we all have the appropriate forms and starting discussions. Seriously, I am an intern who has taken one course on program evaluation last semester and have been at Southern Hemisphere under a month… who am I? But I just can’t help but raise points about clarity of some of these standards and appropriateness of placements of certain sentences, etc. Sometimes the other people in my group argue with themselves or with me about points being raised. At times its valid, at other times I think it’s a bit excessive but just sit back and think, “Oh well, if your country’s standards for evaluation aren’t that clear or awesome…..” Ha.

Small group breakout number 1 comes to an end as we’re nearing a tea break. I look at the lady from the Dept of Safety who likes to talk/argue a lot and ask her if she would like to be our spokesperson to report back to the large group. She shakes her head. I look at the next lady from the Secretary of the Treasury’s office. She shakes her head too and says, “You need to do it. You took the notes so you’ll know what to say.” Oh yikes, guess I’m headed up to the podium…

So I go up to the front of the room and get close to the mic at the podium to introduce myself and my group members. I can see in some people’s faces that they are registering my accent. I start talking about what we discussed in our group and it was the ultimate case of fake-it til ya make-it. Good thing I can speak confidently even in situations where I’m not entirely sure about what is going on. When I finish blubbering about stuff we discussed I conduct a questions/comments section and tried to pretend to answer people’s questions. This included some dramatic pauses waiting for someone else to jump in and help me out. And then I go back to my seat and think to myself about how cool yet comical that whole thing was. Oh and my consultant colleague came in in time to see me present.

After all this, we have reached the time allotted for lunch. I think this means we will have to go out and buy lunch somewhere, but then I look over as hotel staff opens the doors to the tea/coffee room which has now been turned into a totally luscious buffet. Yes!!! This is the greatest day of work ever!!

I’m gonna cut this off because its past my bedtime I am very serious about sleep now that I work a killer 9-5. But just FYI – the Mandela Rhodes Place has a FABULOUS rooftop bar and pool. I did not hang out there more than 10 minutes after the workshop however, because I went back to the office to make sure I didn’t get behind on stuff. Oh, and to finish the newsletter, because I’m the intern J

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