Day 60: I Jump Off A Train.

Today was one of those days that is so ridiculous that the only redemptive quality is the fact that it will make a good story. Here is the good story: It starts Sunday night. I’m prepping for a Why Poverty screening we’re doing at the University of the Western Cape the next day. It looks like out of all the shady public transport options, the train will be my best option. For some reason I’m most comfortable on the trains even though everyone is terrified of them – they feel more predictable than mini buses and I’ve never ridden a Golden Arrow bus, and so I find them scary. Train it is. I look up the timetables and see that to get to the venue and meet the facilitators by 10:15 (screening to start at 11), I need to catch the train leaving from platform 18 at 9:20. It will drop me off at the Unibell station which is right at UWC. Easy enough.

So the next morning, I meet the other intern, Tiffany (who I recruited to come with me at the last minute) and we walk to the train station. When we get there, we find out the timetable totally lied and there is no train going to Unibell station at 9:20 from platform 18, but there is one leaving at 9:40 from platform 19. Ok cool. I ask Tiffany if she’d like to go bum around and get a coffee or something since we have about 30 minutes to kill. She says nah, let’s just go sit on the train so we don’t miss it. We walk over to platform 19 as the train is coming in. I look up at the board and it says the train will leave at 9:40 and something about a train not being in service. Whatever, the 9:40 train is running so that’s fine. We go inside and sit down in an empty car.

A few minutes go buy and I hear a noise, not a whistle, but still tone that suggests a train is leaving. The doors shut and we are leaving the station on this completely empty train. Something is not right. It is NOT 9:40. Wait, what was that about a train not in service?!? I stick my head out the window to look back up at the board. Just then I lock eyes with a guy standing on the platform and he yells something at me. I’m not sure what, but something about “You’re not supposed to be on that train!” or “That trains not in service!” Something that gave me all the confirmation I needed to start panicking – WE ARE ON A TRAIN THAT IS NOT IN SERVICE!! We start running up and down the aisle, thinking maybe we can get to the front of the train… no of course not. Tiffany is pacing around swearing while I’m pushing this button next to the doors that says “emergency.” Maybe there’s like a switchboard at the front that lights up when someone pushes the emergency button so the driver will stop? Or maybe the train will just stop, right??” No, of course not. I don’t want to say it, but I tell Tiffany our only option, “We have to jump off this train.” There is no way to tell anyone who can stop this train that we’re on it. We have NO idea where the train yard is and it could be past Khaylitsha for all we know! We have to jump off this train. She agrees.

We wait for a moment. The train slows and comes to a stop so someone can throw a switch and it can change tracks. Now is our change. Luckily, I figure out the emergency button next to the doors is to make them open while the train is in motion. So I hold down the emergency button and pry the doors open while Tiffany jumps out. The doors are pushing back on me and I can’t keep them open while I jump out with both my workbag and my computer bag. I yell at Tiffany and she holds them open while I scramble out with all my crap. Half of me is totally freaking out while the other half of me is laughing at the fact that I just jumped out of a train. And now we need to figure out where the heck we are… So we start walking.

Today is the hottest day its been since I’ve been in Cape Town; no doubt the hottest day of the year. Great day to go for a walk down the train tracks. It is the weirdest sight – white girl in a red dress toting her work bags down the train tracks in who knows where. We’re kinda just stuck in a see of train tracks since we’re still close to Cape Town station; there are probably 7 on each side of us with a fence down the middle that we’re walking next too. I continue to cycle between laughter and panic. Then we see a welcome sight ahead, the lady who throws the switch for the trains to change tracks is standing up ahead. She sees us and motions us over. I’m very happy to see another human here! One that can probably tell us where we are! Instead she yells at us and tells us that we should NEVER do that ever again! She says we should have stayed on until we got to the train yard. And I’m like, “Yea, but we have no idea where that is!” She points up a short ways and over to the right. Oh, it’s right there. Haha, look at that. We ask her where the next station is and if we can catch the train we’re meant to be on there. She says yes and tells us a train number that doesn’t mean anything to us, and we keep walking. After walking for ten minutes or so, I’m starting to panic because I don’t see this darn train station! But then a sidewalk appears, in the middle of the train track ocean, and a person walks out onto it. That looks promising. So we keep following this sidewalk. We pass two RR worker ladies sitting in the shade of a train. They let us go by them for awhile before yelling down at us, “Hey, where are you going?” We tell them we’re walking to the next station. They wave us back to them and point to a gate we missed. Oh, glad they were there to help out.

After we walk through this gate, which I think separates the train yard from the active tracks, we make it to this incredibly random train station that is just sitting in the middle of the train track ocean like an island. Its called something like Yackensplatt. I wonder how people even get there or why they would ever come to Yackensplatt. The closest roads are busy highways pretty far in either direction away from us, but there are these big raised pedestrian bridges to get to the island of Yackensplatt. We ask the first guy we see here if he could tell us which platform our train will come to. He points to the one across from where we are now. So we walk up the stairs and over to the other side. I’m not fully convinced, so I have Tiffany go ask some train security guard person who confirms that we’re at the right platform. I’m feeling ok now. The train we were meant to be on should be coming through here in 10 minutes or so. The thing is, it doesn’t. Several trains pass, some heading out, some heading into Cape Town, but none passing our platform. I start to panic again. I call the office and tell them what’s going on so I can get the screening facilitator’s cell phone number. I can’t believe this is happening and we’re going to be late if we get there at all! I then go march up to the weirdo floating ticket counter on the pedestrian bridge to triple check that we’re at the right platform and to figure out when the heck a train to Unibell is coming. I get my answer – we were on the wrong platform the whole time and the next train is coming in about 45 minutes at 10:58. Wahhhhhh! (I realize later in the day that Tiff was asking people how to get to Bellville instead of Unibell.)

I do get some good news though – the screening has been pushed back to noon. So we won’t be late after all. But now we just have to wait it out on the sketchy island of Yackensplatt where I am keenly aware of my color, the loud color of my dress, the bags I am carrying, and people’s weird reaction to me being there. I packed some apples in my bag and I quickly stress eat one. At last, right around 10:58, the train that will take us to Unibell comes. We can’t run up to the front fast enough, so we can’t sit in first class (which is highly advisable) so I spend my first train ride in Metro regular. Whatever, its not so bad. Then we choochoo on through the poverty of the townships. It sounds like people are popping their gum when they talk because the most prevalent native language here, Xhosa, uses a lot of tongue clicks. I love it. I watch the signs at each rail station like a hawk and have my phone out with the GPS on so I know where the heck we are. Finally we pull up to Unibell station! Huzzah!! We run out of the train, and I find myself in a field; a very weird open field with a university in the middle of it. I keep thinking to myself, “Where the heck are we?” We made it though - both alive AND on time. We find the School of Government and set up everything for the screening. When the catering comes in, I immediately scarf to finger sandwiches.

The screening goes well. Good group, nice discussion, air conditioning. Then its time to go. The facilitators look at me and say, “You’re not going back on the train are you? Just go out front and take a taxi home instead.” I reply that we’d rather just stick with the train because we bought return trip tickets. They tell me stories about their friends getting mugged when it isn’t peak hours though and finally deter me enough to just go catch a stinkin’ mini bus taxi. We walk to the front of campus, where there is actually civilization, and get into a taxi. They don’t go until they’re full, so we sit there in the hot car until 40 people or whatever are crammed in. Then, for some reason unknown to me, everybody gets out and goes into another taxi. I don’t know what’s going on so I just follow the crowd. Soon we’re finally driving back towards town. We get dropped in Mowbray where we have to catch another taxi bus before being taken back to the station in Cape Town at last. AHHHHGGG I’m so happy to be back in the city!! We trudge back to the office and make it in around 4:00. At one point, Tiffany says, “Omg, I just remembered we jumped off that train.” There are no words.

So for a one and a half hour or so screening, we were in transport for almost FOUR HOURS. Its just mad! Back in the office I chug a couple of glasses of water and slouch into my desk under the air conditioner. I seriously need to work on that strat plan, and I get an ok idea of what I need to do for it tomorrow, but then five o’clock rolls around and I am OUT. I really need to go sit on my couch and stare into space.

And so, THAT is how I jumped out of a train.